piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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