Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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