our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
