Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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