Farmville is her only friend.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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