I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
