i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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