Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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