Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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