I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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