When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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