I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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