Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
