Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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