I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
