Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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