nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize