Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
