normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
