Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
