making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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