1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
