i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
