just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
