last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize