Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
