Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
this just has baby written all over it
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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