Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
