All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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