Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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