Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
this will be a night to untag.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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