I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Randomize
