kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
