I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
