I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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