so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
