If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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