Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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