Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize