this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
