butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
