either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
ttyl tear gas
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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