I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
