apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
