some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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