We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Nicole vs. Life
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
