i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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