it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize