The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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