I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize