Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
