Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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