and you said cock pushups were impossible
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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