So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
