So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
