I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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