that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
