I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
