i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
