Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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