Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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