go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize