Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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