It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
