somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
