If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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